I told you I was serious about changing my habits.

this morning I walked Katie and it was fun! want to know the quickest way to wake up a dog? say to her gently "want to go for a walk?" she hopped up all wiggly and happy -- so cute!

our walk was so fun. we stopped by to say hi to Spider, the giant black german shepherd that lives across the street. we also met a new dog in the neighbourhood -- I've seen him around but hadn't caught him in his backyard before. we even ran into the old guy that always says stuff to his little black dog like "oh don't bark at those two! that dog looks so nice, and look at that good-lookin girl with him." haha! I kind of hate that guy, but kind of like him. he always stops me for chats if he's in his yard and sometimes it's tough to get away. funny, though.

I had a reasonable breakfast this morning; 1 cup of cereal and a little more than half a cup of milk. last week I had hot dogs for breakfast most days -- vast improvement! then I made a somewhat weird lunch, based on the fact that I don't have much for fresh vegetables in my fridge. I had a peanut butter and apple sandwich plus three radishes on the side. it was totally delicious and I was full most of the afternoon. I don't have any granola bars right now, so I had an apple cinnamon and cream fruit cup for each of my morning and afternoon snacks.

supper tonight was 3 chicken fingers, 4 mini potatoes, a bit of butter on the potatoes, salsa over both the potatoes and the chicken, plus green beans seasoned with Montreal Steak Spice. it's one of my favourite suppers ever, and really reasonable in terms of calories. and, it's a totally full plate of food.

oh by the way, my eating is based on a plan I got from Gold's Gym three years ago. I used that plan to lose 35 pounds, which was exactly my goal. it has a combination of food group servings and calories and it's super easy to follow. the simplest way to describe it is that it's about 1750 calories a day.

I have my book club meeting tonight and they always involve snacks, but I'll try to be good. depending on who is hosting the snacks can range from fresh veggies to decadent cakes. and since it's summer we'll likely have cold drinks (which tend to be full of calories) rather than herbal tea, so that will also be tough.

I may be going for drinks with a CouchSurfer on Tuesday night, but I've decided to pitch going to a pub where I know they'll serve and refill a coffee (some are good, some treat you like crap if you don't order booze). I could also just get a pint of diet Coke, but I hate relying on aspartame.

my social life is going to make losing weight this time more difficult than the weight I lost last time. but, I only have maybe 20 pounds to lose, not 35. and, I'm definitely happy with an initial 10 to begin. losing 10 pounds, if I'm dedicated, should take me about 6 weeks. in about a month is Connect, a festival, and I admit I will wholeheartedly fall off the healthier living wagon that weekend. and a week later is the Folk Fest, which doesn't include much drinking but does include much consumption of delicious food like curries and chocolate-dipped frozen bananas. if I can get a good start now, though, hopefully I won't get sidetracked for too long.

I lost 4 pounds in the first 2 weeks of January by being better about what I eat. then it was my birthday and I celebrated with both food and drink a couple of times. then I was sick with a raging cold, which made me not want to worry about calories. and after 2 or so weeks of being off the wagon, I found it really difficult to get back on. I am hoping this time it won't be quite so daunting.

anyway, today is Day 1 and it has been a good start so far!

I didn't even think to refuse the bottle of organic soda at my book club tonight, so there was 140 extra calories. and that wasn't so bad until she pulled out the homemade ice cream cake! I'm sure that was 600 right there, what with the peanuts and chocolate coating. I really thought hard about refusing, but she made it! and last time she hosted book club she didn't have time to make anything and bought cake instead. and it's terribly disappointing when you go through the effort of making something special and people refuse it.

and also, it looked delicious! and it was.

tomorrow. tomorrow I'll start again. and hey, all things considered I ate no worse, and probably quite a lot better, than I did yesterday and all of last week.

Friday Guy contacted me on MSN tonight. heart = race! but, we kind of accidentally got into serious stuff. and not serious bad, but serious. unprovoked, he said he thinks that right now he's where I was at last year. well, I knew that. he is so unhappy right now. I feel so sad for him, and not because he is Cute Boy I Like, but because he is A Human That Deserves Happiness. I said last year the last thing I wanted was to be ditched. he said all he wants is space and time, and that it is to be noted that space and time does not equal ditched.

so, that's pretty well that I guess. I will make myself crazy if I think about him romantically, so I am going to have a bit of a cry, go to bed, and let it go for now. we are just friends. maybe with potential, but there's nothing I can do about it. sigh.

it's not like I'll never see him again. and if he ever gets back to his renovations, I'll be helping. and if we get a chance next time to talk about meditation again, I will. and maybe I might even start actually talking through some of the things that we did in class, to get him started. he was very interested when we talked on the phone a few weeks ago.

but for now he's a sad friend and that is that. boo-urns.