I didn't even think to refuse the bottle of organic soda at my book club tonight, so there was 140 extra calories. and that wasn't so bad until she pulled out the homemade ice cream cake! I'm sure that was 600 right there, what with the peanuts and chocolate coating. I really thought hard about refusing, but she made it! and last time she hosted book club she didn't have time to make anything and bought cake instead. and it's terribly disappointing when you go through the effort of making something special and people refuse it.

and also, it looked delicious! and it was.

tomorrow. tomorrow I'll start again. and hey, all things considered I ate no worse, and probably quite a lot better, than I did yesterday and all of last week.

Friday Guy contacted me on MSN tonight. heart = race! but, we kind of accidentally got into serious stuff. and not serious bad, but serious. unprovoked, he said he thinks that right now he's where I was at last year. well, I knew that. he is so unhappy right now. I feel so sad for him, and not because he is Cute Boy I Like, but because he is A Human That Deserves Happiness. I said last year the last thing I wanted was to be ditched. he said all he wants is space and time, and that it is to be noted that space and time does not equal ditched.

so, that's pretty well that I guess. I will make myself crazy if I think about him romantically, so I am going to have a bit of a cry, go to bed, and let it go for now. we are just friends. maybe with potential, but there's nothing I can do about it. sigh.

it's not like I'll never see him again. and if he ever gets back to his renovations, I'll be helping. and if we get a chance next time to talk about meditation again, I will. and maybe I might even start actually talking through some of the things that we did in class, to get him started. he was very interested when we talked on the phone a few weeks ago.

but for now he's a sad friend and that is that. boo-urns.